I have been on Facebook for 10 years. That’s a long time. Looking back, I used to share much more of who I was, what I was thinking, passionate about and new perspectives I felt were important for others to be aware of. The last few years it started dying down. It didn’t seem to matter to many of the people or friends on here. Only in the last year have I seen a major shift in consciousness and the information I was posting several years ago were appearing on my feed again.
It definitely sparked my interest to continue forging forward with my eccentric perspectives, but I must admit I was a little jaded by the lack of interest during that time. Perhaps even put me into a hesitancy of whether what I had to say mattered, even to my friends. I could see the likes and hearts and shares appearing for videos I post of little rubber seals for food, but not nearly as interested in creations from the matters of my heart and service to others. And let’s face it, Vancouverites are rather flaky with commitment.
So this leaves me in my own distaste wondering what I should do. And I decided that I continue to create, to share, and never give up on broadcasting my voice and creations because I love what I do. And that I must also continue to engage the way I feel called to, even more so because I believe in who I am and what I have to offer. I know that I create ripples, it must just be that version of myself that has felt misunderstood for so long. So, let this be a final message to that part that felt small. I never really was. I am a beacon of light.
This year was the most intense year of my life, back to back series of endings and new beginnings. Part of my work brought me back and forth to 100 Mile House, I closed down the office in Kits for my Koi Chi Healing business, my 3 year relationship came to a close and I began a very deeply powerful one right after, I went as far north to Norway and now as South as Costa Rica. In between I had not called home for more than 3 months, from Marpole, to Whiterock, to the Sunshine Coast, to Richmond and the West End. I also opened my sexual body again after closing it for many years due to a difficult past, this Tantric journey has opened a power within long forgotten and even feared. A dear friend sudden died one day, and I have just finally healed after a month long of extreme physical discomfort from living in the jungle.
All in all, I was asked how much more authentic I could be. How much more of my life I could fill with my joy, hopes, dreams and truths. I am so much more certain in this body, on this planet, with my gifts and talents. I learned that I can write, sing and create songs. I learned that I am a fierce lover and loyal friend. I learned that I am wildly intelligent, imaginative and creative. I learned that I am a maverick, ahead of her time, forging new paths not needing to look back for approval. This was always me. I was always this and am this, I just needed to say thank you to the part that felt small for doing its best, and say farewell as I leave it in 2016. This space ship is blasting off into 2017, maybe I’ll see you there.
<3 - The Modern Goddess