I truly believe this world we live in is beautiful, full of love and kindness; for I experience this reality all the time. But through various means, there are also many things in our world that encourage us to be something we are not, to aspire to be something unobtainable by all, to feel less than we are because of certain expectations set up by unconscious proclamations put out by mainstream media and fuelled by people rooted in fear. I was unaware of the boundaries put around me, corralling me to grow into a human being that lost touch with who I truly was and in many ways hesitant and fearful to share this with other human beings probably thinking and feeling the same thing. I wanted to change these parameters put around me from when I was born, even before I was born – boundaries I did not agree to and now that I see through this veil, I have experienced the true loving wonders of life and have learned how to create them for myself. Some things I have gathered along the way that I’d love to share with you…
Are You Living Fully?
There is a learning curve indeed if this is new, if you’re afraid or if you are not ready to make these loving changes. And, when it becomes familiar you will still need to challenge yourself to continue to be authentic in new situations, but I can say for myself and many others I’ve witnessed, that it is more than worthwhile – you feel alive, happy and free. It is better to know now that this path never ends, it only gets more interesting, complex and subtle and the challenge is not what is out there, but what is within…
Are you living an authentic life? Do you wake up each day confident and comfortable not just in your skin, but in your thoughts, speech and in your behaviour? Do you feel loved exactly as you are? Are you afraid to move through life, leading with your heart? Are you tired of putting on a mask over your body, heart, mind and spirit? Do you feel alive, happy and free?…
These are some challenging and awakening questions I have had to ask myself, and fearlessly choose to answer honestly so that I may truly understand what it means to be authentic and live a full life – to know who you are. I had a wise person teach me something through the perfect use of humour, “Jocie, can you find yourself already?” Ah… Insert laughter. I found that question to be so funny and fascinating – it was a challenging question! But a good challenge, it was encouraging me to really ask myself to answer this question openly and honestly. And for me, I was sure: I know who I am, I am just learning to experience all of it – really just allowing myself to be who I am which is many and more. I am not just a daughter, girlfriend, civilian, healer or a friend; I am not just spiritual, funny, Asian or female. I am capable of more than I ever thought I could endure and flourish in, I am more loving that I thought possible, I am more compassionate than I thought imaginable, I am able to feel a lot more pain – and happiness than I thought I could experience…
I realized I am everything… and everyone, if I just only allow myself to be. The truth is you can experience anything and everything. But each of us because of where we were born, the kind of boundaries engrained in us, the choices we make and preferences we have, etc. – our experiences will have different intensities, different obstacles, different outcomes – but that does not deny you the possibility of relating to someone through feelings you have both felt, good and bad. There are the overarching feelings of fear, sadness, anger, excitement, happiness, safety, freedom, etc. And then there the complex layers of feelings in each: i.e. fear of failure, feelings of loss, anticipation for something you want, receiving something you want, feeling protected and living without fear.
I learned that I can get along with anyone if I took the time to understand where we relate; I can relate to everyone at least in the basic overarching feelings – as well as many complex feelings; that conflict can be transmuted to loving and compassionate understanding, and that it feels good and is mutually reciprocated when I choose to be authentic. What I learned was something called faith. Faith in so many things – yet the same thing – faith in life, love, truth, the universe, spirit, source, science, imagination, God, Allah, Quan Yin, Krishna, Ra, Mother Nature, the biological cycle of life and death… faith in myself, faith in you, and faith in humanity. It doesn’t matter what you want to call it – to me, they, in their purest sense all relate to one another. I always believed peace on Earth was possible, but I finally began to understand how we can start moving towards peace. And, it starts from within. :)
Finding Who You Are
This is reality for me, when I started to allow myself to be more of who I was, this is how I started to see the world. Relationships with other human beings have been truly magical. Connecting with someone I have never met, simply through writing to each other authentically and feeling like we have known each other’s lives for years – almost as if we’ve lived it with them. Accepting the path of others and finding it within yourself to remember you were once facing the same types of challenges, thus supporting them rather than judging them. It as allowing yourself to relish in the commonalities of each other, while appreciating the differences as uniqueness. Expanding the existing relationships to new realms of holistic experience, truly feeling and experiencing freely in the body, heart, mind and spirit… What I’ve described is only some of the most recent experiences of living authentically that has started reoccurring daily for me; but after all that is described… how does one begin to live authentically?
I am sure there are infinite ways to approach this, but there are some fundamental things I have come across that I feel are essential to start moving in this authentic direction:
- Always listen to your heart.
The heart is much more wise than your mind. Your mind has a tendency through conditioning and time to self-sabotage in moments that need more than logic/patterns. We’ve all experienced over thinking, negative self-talk, and doubt, just some of the ways our mind when clouded also clouds our clarity. However, the heart always knows what it wants, but has been policed by our mind for too long, being told it is irrational, emotional and foolish. Reminding the heart the “rules” of society, culture, tradition and religion; therefore, “untrusting of it and silencing it.” There are some beautiful experiences in life that cannot solely be experienced by the mind; for example, we cannot just think we love someone, we must also feel it. We cannot just understand the definition of compassion, we must know how to describe the feeling as well. And, when we allow ourselves to feel love, some amazing, magical and irrational things can occur that make us realize what life is about.
When you listen to your heart, you allow yourself to live authentically (of course, we must first be honest and distinguish how to listen to our hearts and to act through love and compassion for all, including ourselves). You are following your true desires rather than the expectations of others.
- Be completely honest with yourself. Be completely honest.
It is okay if you are afraid, or you are unwilling or unable to see how living what I described to be “authentic” as helpful or even this impactful. But don’t be afraid to answer your questions in depth and fully, leaving no stone unturned – or you’d be avoiding how you truly feel, not being honest, acting in fear and denial. We cannot find/be who we are if we don’t’ know how we clearly feel.
For with honesty, we can truly get to the bottom of the barrel and clear out all the density that prevents us from letting go of what is holding us back on being our true selves. When you are honest, you can see yourself relating to others much more easily, as you are able to suspend judgement and better able to imagine yourself in their situation.
- Lovingly accept all aspects of yourself, and do not compromise for the sake of another’s expectations, compassionately.
You must love and enjoy the company of yourself, all the versions of it, in doing so you will love these parts of you in others as well. You will also understand the “bad” things are just part of the spectrum of being human – for we see people all over the world being able to do horrendous and amazingly compassionate things. Remember, we are the individual representation of a whole, another shade of the many colourful aspects of humanity.
Love the rebel, the sweetheart, the cute side, the rough side, the mistakes and the successes, the fool and the genius, the humble one and the confident one. For when you do, you realize that you are much more than the negative things you may see of yourself – you are all the amazing and beautiful things as well, and then the awareness will set in. You can choose to be these beautiful things, you can choose to live authentically.
- You have a choice to make, a courageous one; to live authentically requires a strong will for self-expansion.
When you choose to engage within and with the world as yourself, free of any smoke and mirrors, you must be humble and diligent with your awareness – observing yourself judgement free – just making note of when you are not being authentic and to do your best to shift that when you feel yourself closing. You will use a courageous, faithful, loving and compassionate approach to be yourself, because you can’t see living life any other way when you do. Those who feel the same will begin to enter and stay in your life, knowing that being around other authentic souls is how we can begin to bring magic, peace and unity on Earth… and others will see that they too can feel alive, happy and free.
This is how you can find yourself. All the complexities within you are a reflection of the world, realizing that you find your individual self in experiences with others and the world around you.
I hope this has provided some food for thought, and that it has allowed you to consider challenging yourself to see how wonderful you truly are, to move towards expanding all the kind, loving, amazing, courageous, compassionate and positive aspects of yourself. You are not alone :) just see for yourself.