Recently I was blessed with the journey of San Pedro, a cactus plant medicine that embodies the masculine spirit. This experience alone is an entire story on its own, but the lessons I learned had to be expressed now. Right now, in the spiritual community, and the general tone of world changes it is about reclaiming the Divine Feminine. We can see this in the encouragement and promotion of compassion, empathy, free expression of feelings, women’s rights & equality – all represented in campaigns and movements like #HeforShe, anti-bullying campaigns, and #freethenipple, to name just a few. All across the world, women are standing up for themselves against the oppression bestowed upon them for thousands of years; they are reclaiming as well as redefining what it means to be a women in this current era. …
I too was on this journey, when I was young I was taught in/directly that “this is a man’s world” and that if I wanted to succeed I had to adopt and embody the idea of what it means to be strong, powerful and successful. I adopted a very twisted notion of masculinity; one of dominance, force, aggression, ego and competition. It was not until I had begun my spiritual awakening did I learn of the Divine Feminine, and the last two years I had let go of this dominantly/distorted sense of power and began to cultivate and nurture the Divine Feminine in myself. One of the most profound realizations came from my Ayahuasca journeys (a Feminine spirit) and I truly had come to understand what being a powerful and loving woman meant and had begun to walk it with ease and grace.
As the universe tends to wait till you catch up to its plan, San Pedro had revealed itself to me to be drank the night after the Spring Equinox-super new moon-solar eclipse, I was curious to see what wisdom and knowledge I would receive on this journey during such an auspicious time. Still I was a little reserved towards the idea of the masculine. For myself, I had begun to practice an abstinence from my masculine energy, fearing the old ideas of it would consume me if I were to revisit that part of myself. Though I welcomed this divine intervention with as much openness as I could for I do know that the Divine Feminine cannot become dominant either, there needs to be a balance. Just like the balance of feminine and masculine energies within us and around the world, I was ready to equalize.
It was like meeting a long lost love, an old boyfriend from a relationship with great passion but full of unhealthy experiences. One that had to be let go in order for me to heal. Then years pass, and you see this person again, you both have grown separately into different people and it was time to get reacquainted again. And to my pleasant surprise, he had changed. He was kind, patient, gentle, supportive, strong but comforting and best of all, empowering. Then the truth surfaced. I was different now, all parts of me, and I was ready to welcome and merge with the masculine energy I once feared and abolished of myself.
This is how I began to understand the Divine Masculine. As one of my most beloved friend’s husband says to his wife, “I am a support-her.” I noticed that as conversations or thoughts arose throughout the night, the medicine would rise in waves, moving with the context – letting me know when what I was speaking/thinking of was a moment of realization or healing. As if he was saying to me, “I know I have been unkind, but I am different now, so take your time to share, I can wait and I will let you know when I play a role so you may heal from this experience with me.” So many old ideas/beliefs of power, strength, presence and masculinity were enlightened, so many healed wounds with old scars were diminished. I felt more whole with a strong encasing of my aqueous and feminine nature. For myself and how I interpret the union of my two halves is that, the Divine Feminine is Creation – what sustains us, while the Divine Masculine is the Creator – what maintains us and sets things into motion for it to come into manifestation.
In understanding this new layer of Masculinity, for this is not all there is to learn, I began to embody “I am that I am” – no more feelings of having to use effort to stand in my Divine Feminine power, I know who I am, and I am supported in this knowing. There is no fear that me, as a woman and the feminine, will ever be oppressed again, have to prove my place in this world, or doubt that my unconditional love and compassion is a weakness. Never so powerful has one of my old tattoos rang true, “I stand sustaining this entire world with a fragment of my being.”