It began yesterday night on 1/11/18. They say it is a major galactic alignment, one the Jewish calendar had been waiting for. An opening of a gateway of two merging timelines of past and present. I felt the shift.
My distortion began just before the new year. I felt a thick cloud of aimlessness, frustration, and eagerness set in. Something was happening, I can’t see what is unconscious, I must wait for it to surface from the dark. It was not easy to feel the toil, toil, boil and trouble - fire burn and cauldron bubble of the witches brew… inside me.
I had a feel-good list I had begun implementing since stubbornly releasing the grip on my old ambitious behaviour and thinking patterns the new years tends to stir up. One of those things on my list was to take an Epsom salt bath. One of my all-time favorite meditation rituals. I had forgotten when I immerse in the element of water I become one with spirit. I melt into it’s molecular fluid structure and I am an open channel again. All I have to do is allow and affirm my surrender, it helps when you see 11:11 before you dive in.
In the water, I began my alchemical transformation in the form of tears. I had been yearning for this feeling for so long… it was finally becoming clear as I bathed in literal clarity. My spiritual body was calling me to bring her forward into the daily rituals of my life, in the ways of this Earth but not from it… I don’t know how to explain this. It’s as the galactic forecast describes… a merging of timelines…
I began by doing Reiki on myself. Afterall, as I read on Mysticmama: We cannot teach what we are unwilling to learn. So. I decided to honour my Reiki Mastery and reinitiate myself again. I yearned to work with energy, so I start with myself as practice. I opened my crown chakra and felt the divine message coming through. My higher self, my spirit speaking through me, to me. The tears flowed. The words rolled off my tongue, the sounds freed me. I have done great work as of late to prepare the physical vehicle and I feel ready to fill myself with my self.
I also recalled while in the bath, that during a session with Selena, I initiated by a Nordic shaman. This was before I went to Norway, two years ago. I had wondered why I was here in Denmark too. It’s not only because I am here for Julian’s timeline. It is also a merging of two, mine too. I held this in thought, to connect with this memory the next day.
This spirit part of me is the anchor of clarity in my every-day decision making. My faith, belief, and trust in: this way that I am. I am in this world, but I am not of it. Yet, I must still enjoy the beauty this planet is for I am here with beautiful purpose. I know why, I know who I am, I know what I can do… but HOW is what eludes this human form. The path leading to 5th Dimensional living, it is new and unprecedented.
When the water begins to flow down the mountain it can move in two ways. It can be swift, meeting much resistance as it splashes against all that is hard and solid, losing much of its essence in the process. Or, it can be slow rolling in meeting its obstacles. Yet with less resistance, it will maintain it’s essence most of the way through. Neither are right or wrong. It is both natural and with divine consciousness. I am that water, fully conscious of itself, having to make a decision of which is best for me - because either way, a path will be created towards the gravitational force. So whichever is most enjoyable, exciting, funny, and easy … that is the how I will take my course.
After the bath, I knew something was going to happen to me. I waited for it. I was in bed with Julian and he wanted to know how I was feeling. I confessed that I hide this woman of spirit from him because of the pain I feel of disbelief and criticism that I have experienced. He didn’t have much to say. That didn’t help, but I understood this is hard to understand. It was a replay of a feeling I had already felt with Alex. Something karmic was to be released.
I started to feel this pain in my back. After watching Kaypacha yesterday, right before the bath, he mentioned this was a time of feeling grief, manifesting in the lungs. He mentioned that he too was coughing a lot during this time, that comforted me. And, that this clearing had begun about 7 weeks ago, which aligned with my time in India when I was having intense respiratory problems.
In bed, I tried to open up my chest, putting pressure on the spot and breathe it out. I was unwilling to ask for help. I was also not getting up to go downstairs to roll it out myself… I was toiling, toiling, boiling with trouble… fire burning and my cauldron bubbling… Tears began to roll out… I was struggling in pain.
Julian asks if I’m alright, I said I was in pain and I asked if he wanted to help me. Sometimes I feel his resistance to helping me (maybe not knowing how or not wanting to… I’m not sure). I often am shy and in fear of asking, I could be rejected. But this time he said yes.
I guided him to the spot on my back, that was pressing against my lungs, right. Over. My. Heart. I know it was the feeling of betrayal, of heartache, of being stabbed in the back full of grief.
I opened my arms to let as much air come into the space to release…. soon enough I explode. I sob and cry from the core of another me. From another life, full of this deeply ingrained pain… to the point of cellular memory. I cried and cried saying aloud, “It hurts.” I kept crying and trying to breathe into it. It went on for some time. I had to get into a child’s pose as I kept asking Julian to keep pressing into it. Soon it released, so sore… but released. I had to sit up to clear my sinuses to allow regular breathing to come in. I was empty. An empty vessel, a channel opened up inside me and I was flowing with divine energy.
Then something happened in my deep breathing….. the pain began to subside, a deeper silence in and outside of me created some sort of energy vacuum. And I began to hear vibration/sounds in my right ear. It was so clear, loud enough to feel like it was coming from inside our room just to my right. I thought for a moment that it was a phone or the printer going off… but it wasn’t a sound I had ever heard…. though it resembles sounds I have heard…
I was slightly afraid. Who or what was it? What communication and from who. I cleared the space with Archangel Michael and with the silver violet flame… it was still there… I began to trust and just listen.
There was the background sound of like rough sand being poured continuously onto itself… and a rhythmic ‘beeping’/tone not like a bell but soft like it. It played for a short while… and I could hear it slowly fade away. I had my right hand over my heart at this time. My left hand on Julian’s arm that was holding my crossed-legs. I felt the need to lie down… I was hoping to continue listening to it more as I rested… but it was gone. It reminded me of the times I would defocus into the air and I would see the glowing prana… maybe photons?
Part of me felt like it was a communication… another wavelength I have been opened to. I have yet to understand what part it plays, but I do not have a fixation to. I feel myself coming into alignment with my old and new sides of faith, matter, focus, feelings, thoughts…
This morning, I saw 11:11 again, and 10:10. I felt empty and in need of meditative contemplation. So, I went for a long walk through the forest on my own. I brought my headphones and played Kerala of Shaman Dreams.
I had such a magical walk. I found spaces that were speaking to me. A Rock that held the most steady space for me, passing its essence to me on how to better hold for others too. There I sat for some time to integrate into the land, to welcome whatever was here long ago that was aligned with the spiritual life and natural magic of the Earth and Divine.
I found human-made spaces to dwell in nature with. I followed paths beaten into the Earth. Slightly off the road. In this world, yet not of it either. I couldn’t hear anything. Just my music. I liked I was in a safe space, the city around me, I knew I could be wanderlust and enjoy that feeling of loss and lost, wander with it without judgment or any aim.
I saw so much beauty in the loss of the leaves, the unearthed roots exposed to the harsh winter cold. The colours were still so magnificent. This mulch of the Earth was really breathing with life. I could feel it with every step this pulsating quality of being pressed into and bouncing back up into its own shape.
I just listened to the voice in me that said, “Go this way. Sit here for a while. It’s time to get up now. Stop and look. Take off your headphones and listen to the natural sounds. Turn here. Take off your shoes and ground.” It was me but not really. It wasn’t my personality. My personal self was surrendering to the peace within that flowed through my heart. I was feeling this safety. And so I could hear the divine. I had full trust I was guided.
How funny it is when you are in your own world, nothing matters. You know it is perfect and all well. So content to where it will lead you because you know it is leading you home. My own world is the 5D world. Harmony, peace, joy, love, laughter, appreciation, gratitude, acceptance, reverence. Life. Death. Rebirth.
I could imagine that from the outside and in a logical description, I was simply escaping from my real life in a neighborhood forest walking aimlessly around in a few circles. Nothing so magical about that, right? And for those eyes, that will be so.
For me… it was full of wonder, truth, and communication.
One of those being for the tech retreat, of HOW to communicate the connection with nature - especially if you’ve been so bound to the screen. I can really say so that I know what it is like to be in their eyes. So that was powerful to be willing to learn what I wish to teach.
When I was grounding I looked at the trees and I realized that the internet is very ethereal and you must be very grounded to be fully capable of navigating that world without getting lost in it. Tethered to the Earthly realm in some way is what actually gives strength and resiliance in being part of that world. In a way, we are merging the two timelines of in this world but not of it.
The soul that is in this earth world but is not of it, the person that is in this ether internet world but is not of it either. Multidimensional living and multidimensional timelines merging into one.
So I sat with the decaying fallen trees, defocused on the puddles that formed around it… allowed myself to be part and honour that decaying process mimicking inside me.
I sat on the rock and saw myself in spiritual practice/ritual in nature… Ukee you call to my soul again, reminding me of my music…. and I will be holding space in the safety of Gaia’s foundation. Her land and sea merging to the fire in our hearts and opening to the divine heavens above as we breathe in the magic of life. That is what I wish for.
So I aimlessly wandered as I was guided. When I was finally asked to take off my headphones, I walked just a bit farther to a fallen tree obstructing my next step. I leaned on it, just to pause. I look ahead of the trees and I realize I had been dropped off directly in front of the entrance of the park from the street I had entered. Hilarious!
It was wonderful to be brought back to where I began… to know that I am guided, I am safe, I am protected, and I am watched over. Don’t worry little human Jocelyn.
So I write now with peaceful content. Perhaps it will change tomorrow. And that is okay because I am aware of what this new cycle will be about… I have a new implementation to support me and I filled with a purified faith. I am grateful, hopeful and thankful.